What we eat or drink, how we eat, or who we eat, this mocks them all.
Memes-Diet : 27 items
AOC: Ribbed Condoms don't taste like real ribs.
"... and a diet coke please.}
Beating Anorexia T-Shirt on a fat guy!
I want to grow my own food, but I can't find bacon seeds.
You had one job: don't make my baked potato icon look like a poo emoji with sunglasses.
My kids say they want a cat for Christmas. Normally I do a turkey but hey, if it'll make them happy...
When your cat watches too much Food Network.
Cauliflower taste like someone at a dozen hardboiled eggs, waited an hour, farted into the dirt, then the far lovingly for 2 months until it grew into a fart flower, harvested it on the hottest and ripest day of the year, then boiled it for 13 hours. Then tried to fool people by telling them it tastes like mashed potatoes.
Sometimes the stress of being a kid would get me to chain-eat a whole pack!
If people make you sick, cook them longer. (Hannibal Lecter Wisdom)
Cooking tips: too much butter, flour, egg, sugar, baking soda, communism.
Jeffrey Dahmer: Craving 5 guys before it was a restaurant.
Does wine count as a serving of fruit?
The secret is that I only use local children (in my witches brew).
The McRib is the dead beat dad of fast food. It comes around once a year and we're all supposed to act excited.
An Italian-America is being held down and forced to watch in horror as pineapple is added to a Pizza for the first time ~ 1914 Brooklyn, NY.
Pooh gets stuck (needs more fiber).
Soylent Green: it's not just people... it's delicious.
Is that butter? No, it's Stonehenge. I can't believe it's not butter!
I was never a woman who wanted or needed a "Sugar Daddy"... but if "Taco Daddy" was a thing, my life might have taken a drastic turn...
What did you eat? (Outhouse melted)
You are what you eat. Fresh Idiot (Kinki fish)
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Memes-Vegetarians : 33 items
Probably shouldn't put these 2 ads, on the same rotating Kiosk. Is anyone else hungry?
A rare picture of a scared baby carrot, moments before being devoured by a vegan! #StopVeganCruelty
Pig being slaughtered to stop eating bacon? I still eat pussy after seeing a kid being born.
I want to grow my own food, but I can't find bacon seeds.
Cauliflower taste like someone at a dozen hardboiled eggs, waited an hour, farted into the dirt, then the far lovingly for 2 months until it grew into a fart flower, harvested it on the hottest and ripest day of the year, then boiled it for 13 hours. Then tried to fool people by telling them it tastes like mashed potatoes.
Confuse a vegan: cauliflowersheep.
Dear Vegans, I killed and ate this cow, because it was eating your food. You're welcome.
Did you know the movie Soylent Green was set in 2022? Enter, the Impossible Burger.
How office violence starts: fill the Krispy Kreme box with crudités.
And that's how Vegans are made.
Arby's created "Megetables" in response to fake meat. Fake Veg's made from plants.
My food poops on your food.
Vegans: "I don't eat meat because I respect nature.
Nature: Hawk eating a mouse whole.
Side effects of veganism are disgusting.
The steaks have never been higher.
My mouth waters at the smell of steaks on a BBQ. Do vegans feel the same when cutting the lawn?
You're not vegan if you swallow.
Public toilets: the vegan left a floater.
Houston: even in a disaster, no one wants the vegan food.
Fun prank to play on passed-out vegans.
Vegetarian means "Bad Hunter" in Indian.
I'm not vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants!
I don't want to be a nugget!
I had my period. I hear you eat them! (Eggs)
Poor Vegetables. (Violence)
Dear vegetarians, if you love animals, why do you eat all their food?!
Hitler was vegetarian too!
Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.
Q: How do you eat these precious creatures?
A: Are you looking for recipes?
Zucchini Season. Don't forget the retriever cat!
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Memes-Drink : 19 items
The doctor told me to put a bar in the shower! So I did.
Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and yells, "Free drinks for everyone!".... "who is buying?"
Child: Mom, what's an alcoholic? Mom: See those two boats over there? An alcoholic would see four. Child: but mom, there's only one boat. Mom: Fuck.
You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running.
When I dunk my cookies I think of you... and I hold them under until the bubbles stop.
Does wine count as a serving of fruit?
Jack Daniel's Listerine? I'd have to retrain my muscle memory to not reflexively swallow.
When life is hard, but you're trying to eat healthy.
Me: thanks for all you do for me *leans in for a kiss*. Liquor Store Clerk: can you just pay for the whiskey?!
What if rape rules applied the other way? Did you bring a man home a drunk man and take advantage of him?
I wonder if there's a margarita out there somewhere, thinking about me too?
Mountain Dew: the sports drink for gamers! And coders.
Ran out of coffee, substituted tequila. Everyone is so pretty today.
Let's reduce drunk driving by taking away cars from Sober drivers! (The root idea of gun-control)
Taco Bell: also open when you're sober!
Knowledge is know a tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie
Waffle House: because it's 2am and you're drunk!
Funny how it seems impossible to drink 8 cups of water a day, but 8 beers and 7 shots in 2 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
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