Libertarian Joke

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  • While walking home one evening I came upon a man standing at the edge of a bridge, about to jump. “Wait!” I yelled, and ran over to see what was the matter.
  • “It’s this country,” he lamented. “It’s falling into ruin and there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
  • “Cheer up,” I said. “We’re all in this together. Say, are you a liberal or a conservative?”
  • “I’m a libertarian,” he said.
  • “Me too!” I exclaimed. “See, you’re not alone. Are you a free-market libertarian or a libertarian socialist?”
  • “Free-market libertarian,” he said.
  • “Same here!” I said. “Paleo-libertarian or neo-libertarian?”
  • “Paleo-libertarian,” he said.
  • “Hey, so am I! Chicago or Austrian school of economics?”
  • “Austrian,” he said.
  • “Me too! Hayekian or Rothbardian?”
  • “Rothbardian,” he said.
  • “Same as me! Consequentialist or deontological?”
  • “Consequentialist,” he said.
  • “Die, statist!” I yelled as I pushed him off the bridge....

Did I say joke? I meant sad truth. Hey, if you could compromise away your beliefs you'd be in one of the other parties. And if you didn't care, you'd be a moderate or independent. So the big-L Libertarians can be a little nuts on this stuff. Like Democrats with their litmus tests, only with a triple digit IQ.

Libertarian is also known as Classical Liberalism, Randian/Randianism (after Ayn Rand), but is just the belief that liberty should be the core principle of their philosophy, seeking to maximize political freedom and autonomy, emphasizing freedom of choice, voluntary association and individual judgment (and responsibility/accountability). In Europe, this would be left wing, in the U.S. it is right wing. (Technically, Libertarian can mean the party, or a form of Classical Liberalism).