- If it can't be fixed with duct tape and a crowbar, it can't be fixed
- There exists no problem which cannot be solved by a direct application of high explosives
- Hey, this place sucks! Let's live here!
- There's got to be a harder way to do this
- Hey, #[email protected]&%*! man! #[email protected]&%*! and let's #[email protected]&%*! #[email protected]&%*! until we #[email protected]&%*! and then #[email protected]&%*! some beers!!!!
- Friendly fire - isn't.
- You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.
- If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
- Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.
- If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.
- Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
- If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
- The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: (a) When they're ready.(b) When you're not.
- There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
- The easy way is always mined.
- Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
- Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
- When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
- Incoming fire has the right of way.
- No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
- No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
- If the enemy is within range, so are you.
- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
- Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
- Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
- Tracers work both ways.
- Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
- Weather ain't neutral.
- The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
- Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
- Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- The one item you need is always in short supply.
- When in doubt, empty your magazine.
- The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
- Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
- The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
- The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
- Combat experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
- The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for crertain what they don't want.
- To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
- A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
- Beer Math --> 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
- Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
- If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you.
- The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.
- There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
- Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
If I think it's funny, it should get indexed here.